i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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