my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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