that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
