We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
