she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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