All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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