2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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