Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
