Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
