After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
