You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
