Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
