i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
