Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
When are your genitals available?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
