I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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