we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
