Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
