You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
