apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
