I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
