So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
