I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
