Already got asked if we're dating
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
