guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I licked your asshole in confidence.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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