Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
MIDGETS
????
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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