Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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