there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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