Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
