apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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