i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
