8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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