I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
