My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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