You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
