just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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