You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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