Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
