Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
