this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
