I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
