Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
