He asked me if I "almost moaned"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
