Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
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