you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
