We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
