fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
