the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
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