hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
