No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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