we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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