I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
