I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
