Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
